Thank you! And that makes sense, haha.
I didnât raise my children in the high rise but my grandchildren stay with me frequently and love it. We walk to the museums and Marbles and the grocery store. Also there are 2 young children being raised in our building. Separate households. They both go to Wiley and they like walking to school. They both seem happy and I havenât heard any of them speak of moving.
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Great first post. Welcome! Iâm really glad someone revived this thread. I have two kids, and I would have loved to have raised them in DTR, but it was just cost-prohibitive for us. Iâm really interested to read the responses to this!
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I know there are at least two families raising young kids at Hargett Place. These are townhomeâs on the edge of downtown though.
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Before moving to Skyhouse about 5 years ago we naively thought there might be at least some children who could then walk to the magnet middle school a block away. But have seen only one who lived across the hall from us for about a year or so with a single parent.
This was pre-Covid which might have something to do with that. None currently.
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How is Moore Square Middle? we have future plans of enrolling there when the time comes.
Canât help you there. My children have children but none yet of school age.
Have a view of the school and see groups of kids walking at the end of their day. Traffic associated with the school seems less intense than most. Thatâs about all I know.
I am currently raising two kids in Oakwood, not in downtown proper. I live in a small house adjacent to downtown and even then, weâre still on the fence about moving to find something with more space and more land. I would say that trying to raise kids in a high-rise or in the city grid would be doable for a certain type of person, but not ideal for most.
Iâll be specific (this is just my opinion BTW)âŚ
First off, if you are sharing a wall with someone else, youâll probably have a noise issue you donât want to deal with. Getting kids to nap/sleep is extremely hard, and when they wake up, you wake up and after a full day dealing with them, the only time to yourself is when they sleep. You will grow to hate those making unnecessary noise even when that same noise didnât bother you prior to kids. The less you sleep the more angry/stressed youâll become and that is not a great default state as a parent.
Then there is the âgetting placesâ. Someone without kids just gets up and walks out the door to grab a bite to eat or walk down to a grocery store or park. With kids, itâs not like that. You are carting around diapers, snacks, bottles, little toys, a change of clothes, etc. Then you need a stroller, but at some point they wont want to be in the stroller, however youâll know that if you plan to walk more than 2 blocks youâll eventually need that stroller. So you need to get all of that ready, get it down the elevator, and then cart it everywhere you walk.
Then there is the âspaceâ issue. When you get anywhere with all of that stuff, your kids will want to run around, and play with things. They wonât sit still. Sitting inside a restaurant isnât great bc they are loud and messy and you feel like youâre disturbing others. Sitting outside is a better bet, but if they are mobile, then you have to be on your toes bc they will run into passersbys, other diners, or even into traffic if you donât keep an eye on them. You will not be relaxing and enjoying your food/drinks.
So going anywhere when they are really young wonât be much fun. Youâre better off just staying home or finding a brewery with a lot of space.
Now, staying home wonât be that great because itâs likely youâll have a small floorplan townhouse or apt with little to no yard and a single living space. Toys will be all over your living space. The kids will take over your entire home. That is, unless you put them in front of a screen. Then theyâll sit still. Youâll get your free time to relax, but the tradeoff is that they are getting addicted to screen time. So youâre call there.
Meanwhile, there are very few places downtown with space to roam for kids. Land is at a premium so most places to hang out have a small footprint. So if you want to go out and relax for once, youâre probably getting in your car and heading to Standard Foods or Lynwood Brewing, or a spot like that which youâll likely have to take your car to.
Then as they get older (3-5), they have a TON of energy so they need to go outside. There is too much traffic to ride their bikes on the street, so youâll have to cart those bikes to a park. And how are you supposed to do that?
Your main spots are going to be Transfer Food Hall, Marbles, Chavis Park and maybe Moore Square (although Moore Square is only fun for like 30 mins or so bc they dont have a legit playground.
My guess is that youâd have no problem doing this when the baby is born up to about 1. Then it would be hell until the kid is like 7 or 8. Then maybe itâs more doable. But the stage Iâm in, I wouldnât wish that life on my worst enemy. If you arenât one of the most patient people in the world (with lots of time on your hands) it might drive you insane.
(Again, just my take. IMO my kids are pretty disciplined compared to many I see out and about, but still, as someone who is very social, loves exploring and hanging out with friends downtown, having kids this age has been a huge challenge for sure. And as I said, Iâm not even living downtown-downtown)
Hope this helps.
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Real life. Post of the week.
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Youâve pretty much described parenting in general. Downtown or not.
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I donât have kids and never will so I can live wherever and do whatever the hell I want
MWAA HAHAHAHAHHAAHA! Ok sorry just having fun, will bow out of this thread 
Shows the not so subtle differences with kids in a SFH vs apartment. I donât have kids, just the inconveniences of having 2 small dogs made me move from downtown. Always seems cool until you live it. Curious to how many forum members actually live downtown. As in downtown not just ITB.
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I have a dog in Oakwood and itâs really easy, but itâs admittedly a half step away from ârealâ downtown. I specifically didnât look at places on the south end of downtown and on Glenwood South because having a fenced in dog park close by is a huge quality of life component.
It was super easy at the Elan as well, which is closer in, because thereâs a dog park on that block.
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I think I have the best of both worlds. I work downtown Raleigh and get to enjoy that ambience. I live in Cary with a decent sized backyard and about 4 tenths of a mile from Bond Park. Kids and dogs can play in the fenced backyard without being watched and once older they can walk or ride bikes in the park and on greenways. Never have to cross any major roads.
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Not sure what you mean. I described the challenges of parenting and how downtown living would create added challenges (and how these things have played out for me and my family as weâve attempted to do things downtown with kids.)
Donât live downtown proper and you probably eliminate a lot of the noise problems I described. You have more storage for kids toys/bikes/etc. You likely have a yard for the kids to play in right out your back door. You probably have a bonus room or a second living space so you can confine the kidâs toys to that area. You probably have less traffic so youâre less stressed about letting your kids run around the front yard or ride their bikes in the street. You probably have more restaurants/breweries with more open space bc land is cheaper and outside of downtown most businesses cater to a more family-oriented market.
Havings kids and being a responsible and present father/husband is a drastic lifestyle change, and for me has been very stressful and challenging. At the same time I wouldnât trade it for anything. Itâs what Iâve always wanted for my life.
So for me, Iâm constantly trying to find ways to mitigate some of these things that are annoying me or stressing me out, so I can really enjoy this stage of my life. Living downtown makes that harder, thatâs all Iâm saying.
Some may love it. Some may thrive in these situations. But most downtown-adjacent fathers Iâve discussed this with feel the same way I do about it.
Iâm not saying donât try it. Iâm just being honest and giving you an unfiltered opinion. I felt as if that was what the original question was asking for.
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I think that the point here is that our own experiences cannot be used to shape those of everyone else. Nobody is forcing a family to live downtown, and nobody is preventing them from doing so. To say that families canât live downtown based on our own presumptions of what that living situation should look like does not match reality. Given that downtownâs current population represents about 1% of the countyâs total, itâs reasonable to expect that its residents of any slice of demography will be a minority of the total number, and it also suggests that a very tiny percentage of demand by families could be significant enough to make an impact. Conversely, I donât think that anyone is suggesting that the suburbs magically go away and everyone moves downtown. Everyone knows thatâs not going to happen,
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Itâs almost like⌠everybody is different??? And has different preferences and expectations??? Almost as if⌠stay with me here⌠America is a diverse country full of differing opinions, wants and needs⌠with the freedom to accommodate most of them???
Wasnât really trying to argue one way or the other. Just making a comment that it sounds like parenting in general.
There are obviously tradeoffs for living downtown. Con is less space and no yard - pro is that you are within walking distance to places like Marbles and other things. And so forth.
I think @Loup20 and @Kanatenah are both saying the right things. Kids = Logistics. Iâve described it to people as saying, âWeâre in a logistics heavy phase of our lives.â (we have one daughter in the house now) Our shared calendar is so complicated today compared to when my wife and I were living together sans child.
We get it done though and are enjoying it all. I feel Iâve really become a grown up though cause while I donât hit the bars and restaurants as much as I want to, cause I also want to do the dad thing here and there, I know that those things arenât going away and Iâll one day come back to it full on.
Our priorities still value location so being downtown adjacent works for us.
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My mom grew up in a 1 bedroom Khrushchevka apartment with extended family in St. Petersburg. Its really frustrating how much space Americans think they require. If the logistics of raising kids in the U.S werenât such that you had to drive them everywhere until they were 16 and then purchase them a death mobile to get around - it wouldnât be so bad living in a downtown/urban environment. Kids gain independence much earlier in other parts of the world.
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